Just you wait is my favourite one to flip on its head. Just you wait until they tell you they love you. Just you wait until they're bursting with excitement to show you something they made you at school. Just you wait, just you wait, just you wait.
I loved that Jemima Kirke quote when I read it, too. I will die on the hill of “it gets better” — that is my fave of all the clichés. All the cuteness just gets cuter. All the hard stuff eventually morphs into new hard stuff but you feel a little more equipped; I’ve clung to that one for my sanity. Perfectly written in equal parts laughter and sentimentality 💗🫶🏻
Also “hope it lasts” in relation to my daughter choosing to sleep through the night when she was a month old. It hasn't changed since and she is now over 3 months. We cosleep and I wouldn't have it any other way.
Loved all of this. I’m definitely guilty of a few of these. And the give yourself grace is something I say ALL THE TIME while hating my own self regularly 🙄 what’s that saying? Take your own advice! Also funny to note: my son now tells me off for taking photos or videos of him “you taking a video of me? Stop” and then will not continue until I’ve stopped - so yeah - not a “just you wait” - just a “do it while you can” 😂😂😂 xxx
Haha yes, I’ve heard that one! Definitely taking as many photos and videos as I can. I’m hoping a real camera will be less daunting than the phone. Also, with my whole heart I say, give yourself grace. ❤️ sincerely, all of us at the Jennie Fan Club 🫶
I swear, all these thoughts sit in the notes app on my phone!!!!
The trenches has to be the one I dislike the most. Hard/new/needing to figure out, does not equate to war zone.
And “surviving parenthood”.
Same as you, I think survival mode needs to be renamed.
I also have a hard time with “nap trapped”. A baby on my chest isn’t a trap. I literally love every bit of sleeping with my baby, him on me or us in bed together. He sleeps better. Longer. And I get the rest I need, or I stare at his face. It’s the best when he wakes up and smiles case he knows I’m right there. He feels me before he sees me.
Loved every bit of this article.
You put it all into words so elegantly, it was a fun and relatable read, thank you!
thank you so much for reading, Gabry-Elle! I'm so glad it resonates. I personally love nap trap, hence my handle. A nap trap is totally a good thing, like, oh no! I need to rest and cuddle my baby! Darn! but you're right, it's absolutely not a trap. :)
Loling at that trenches photo. I also hate that phrase. Loved all of this though! Also a big fan of a positive spin on “just you wait”, I love the smile of relief on a new parent’s face when it’s not what they were expecting to hear.
I’m trying to navigate the balance of getting the photos and videos but also not shoving my phone in her face all the time 🫠 I have sooo many pictures and videos of baby girl in those early months, but these days a) she moves way too fast for me to capture anything properly, and b) she is far too into grabbing at my phone for my comfort. It’s hard!!
totally hear that! I've found it helps to have the phone/camera to the side of your face instead of covering your face but it's so hard to document this age! We also keep some disposable cameras around so that we're not always taking pictures with phones. :)
I'm so guilty of saying "every baby is different!" Usually in the context of discussing baby milestones with my co-workers and I truly have no memory of when my daughter started sitting up or when we transitioned out of the swaddle or when she started purees...
I agree 100% on the taking videos! I wanted to look at what my daughter was like when she was five months, so I searched my phone and all I found were pictures!? What is this, the 90s!! I am always consciously trying to take videos, especially when she is around older family members,
Oh my gosh, it's like you wrote exactly what I think. Hatehatehate in the trenches and HAHA at the photo you put. It goes so fast, like ok??? I'm literally?? Doing my best?? To inhale every single mili-second?? Deep into my bones?? And I still can't make it slow down, so???? But also yes, so true, everything is moving at the speed of light. I always make a point of telling mamas-to-be that I never knew how good this could all be, no-one ever tells you. Yes the challenges, but oh my god, it can be SO good. So fun.
Ugh the dreaded cliches. I wish someone would have told me to just hold and love on that small baby as much as I wanted. Contact naps always. They'll outgrow them so fast.
It’s eerie how timely this is for me! I was JUST talking to my husband about this/ruminating on all of the expressions that mothers hear and how we sometimes need better, clearer, less hackneyed language to pass along to each other. You already know my feelings about just you wait and give yourself grace. I have so many feelings on so many of these expressions, I can hardly gather my thoughts! So thank you for so cleanly and thoughtfully summing up yours.
Aww we’re on the same wavelength today! Maybe you should write a follow up post with some of your thoughts on these, I always love hearing your perspective! The language of motherhood can be so silly 😆 thank you so much for reading, Tyece! ❤️ I hope you’re giving yourself some grace this week 😉❤️
“My most tragic parts of parenthood are the lasts I don’t know are lasts until they never happen again. And then they’re quickly greeted with a new first to make up for it.”
Oh, how I feel this. Thank you for sharing and I resonate so much with everything you’ve written. Just makes me realize how cool it is that motherhood allows women to experience so many of the same exact feelings 🫶🏻
That’s one of my favorite parts of motherhood too. We all belong to a sacred club that we only understand the inner workings of. Thank you so much for reading, Leah! ❤️
This is so nicely put. You’re right, the unseen parts really are the whole thing, even though they get drowned out by all the noise. Thank you so much for reading! <3
I loved reading this article. The idea that you’re supposed to enjoy every moment just isn’t honest and it can make mothers feel like they’re doing something wrong when they’re not.
What gives me pause is thinking about moms (including myself) who are/were struggling with their mental health, those hard moments don’t always fade. In fact, they can feel heavier, longer, and harder to carry. It puts a lot of pressure on mothers.
Thank you for pointing that out! I think that’s exactly where some of these phrases do the most harm. “Enjoy every moment” isn’t just unrealistic, it can feel isolating when your reality is heavy. For moms navigating their mental health, I imagine that low feeling can feel truly relentless.
This wasn't my reality luckily but I can empathize with the many friends I know who really struggled in postpartum. This piece is definitely more reflective of my own experience, but the "enjoy every moment" challenge could be a whole separate piece.
There shouldn’t be pressure to reframe those hard moments into something lighter or more meaningful before you’re ready (or at all).
Thank you so much for reading and for sharing your perspective. <3
Just you wait is my favourite one to flip on its head. Just you wait until they tell you they love you. Just you wait until they're bursting with excitement to show you something they made you at school. Just you wait, just you wait, just you wait.
Ugh, I can’t wait for all of these! 😭😭 we need to keep flipping this one on its head, enough scaring mothers! Motherhood is the coolest. ❤️
I loved that Jemima Kirke quote when I read it, too. I will die on the hill of “it gets better” — that is my fave of all the clichés. All the cuteness just gets cuter. All the hard stuff eventually morphs into new hard stuff but you feel a little more equipped; I’ve clung to that one for my sanity. Perfectly written in equal parts laughter and sentimentality 💗🫶🏻
Thank you, love. And thank you for always being an empathetic Shepard through this crazy thing called motherhood. ❤️❤️
I live for every "you're doing great" I get, and I try to dish as many of them out as I can. Loved this, Marina.
YES! we must hand these out, they’re free! Thank you so much for reading! <3
Also “hope it lasts” in relation to my daughter choosing to sleep through the night when she was a month old. It hasn't changed since and she is now over 3 months. We cosleep and I wouldn't have it any other way.
Yes! The hope it lasts is another one I hate! Cosleeping is the best! 🥹❤️
Loved all of this. I’m definitely guilty of a few of these. And the give yourself grace is something I say ALL THE TIME while hating my own self regularly 🙄 what’s that saying? Take your own advice! Also funny to note: my son now tells me off for taking photos or videos of him “you taking a video of me? Stop” and then will not continue until I’ve stopped - so yeah - not a “just you wait” - just a “do it while you can” 😂😂😂 xxx
Haha yes, I’ve heard that one! Definitely taking as many photos and videos as I can. I’m hoping a real camera will be less daunting than the phone. Also, with my whole heart I say, give yourself grace. ❤️ sincerely, all of us at the Jennie Fan Club 🫶
I swear, all these thoughts sit in the notes app on my phone!!!!
The trenches has to be the one I dislike the most. Hard/new/needing to figure out, does not equate to war zone.
And “surviving parenthood”.
Same as you, I think survival mode needs to be renamed.
I also have a hard time with “nap trapped”. A baby on my chest isn’t a trap. I literally love every bit of sleeping with my baby, him on me or us in bed together. He sleeps better. Longer. And I get the rest I need, or I stare at his face. It’s the best when he wakes up and smiles case he knows I’m right there. He feels me before he sees me.
Loved every bit of this article.
You put it all into words so elegantly, it was a fun and relatable read, thank you!
thank you so much for reading, Gabry-Elle! I'm so glad it resonates. I personally love nap trap, hence my handle. A nap trap is totally a good thing, like, oh no! I need to rest and cuddle my baby! Darn! but you're right, it's absolutely not a trap. :)
Yep, I remembered your handle afterwards haha!
I’m glad I’m now on the side of social media that uses Nap Trap as a good thing :)
Loling at that trenches photo. I also hate that phrase. Loved all of this though! Also a big fan of a positive spin on “just you wait”, I love the smile of relief on a new parent’s face when it’s not what they were expecting to hear.
I’m trying to navigate the balance of getting the photos and videos but also not shoving my phone in her face all the time 🫠 I have sooo many pictures and videos of baby girl in those early months, but these days a) she moves way too fast for me to capture anything properly, and b) she is far too into grabbing at my phone for my comfort. It’s hard!!
totally hear that! I've found it helps to have the phone/camera to the side of your face instead of covering your face but it's so hard to document this age! We also keep some disposable cameras around so that we're not always taking pictures with phones. :)
I'm so guilty of saying "every baby is different!" Usually in the context of discussing baby milestones with my co-workers and I truly have no memory of when my daughter started sitting up or when we transitioned out of the swaddle or when she started purees...
I agree 100% on the taking videos! I wanted to look at what my daughter was like when she was five months, so I searched my phone and all I found were pictures!? What is this, the 90s!! I am always consciously trying to take videos, especially when she is around older family members,
yes! I need to get better at this too. I'm so sad I don't have more videos. Definitely a goal for the years ahead. Thank you for reading, Maria!
Oh my gosh, it's like you wrote exactly what I think. Hatehatehate in the trenches and HAHA at the photo you put. It goes so fast, like ok??? I'm literally?? Doing my best?? To inhale every single mili-second?? Deep into my bones?? And I still can't make it slow down, so???? But also yes, so true, everything is moving at the speed of light. I always make a point of telling mamas-to-be that I never knew how good this could all be, no-one ever tells you. Yes the challenges, but oh my god, it can be SO good. So fun.
Yes! Exactly! We know the hard parts but it’s so hard to articulate the amazing parts. Us mamas don’t fully get it until we’re in it. ❤️🥹
Ugh the dreaded cliches. I wish someone would have told me to just hold and love on that small baby as much as I wanted. Contact naps always. They'll outgrow them so fast.
That’s it. That’s the whole parenting manual. Love and hold onto that small baby. 🥹
It’s eerie how timely this is for me! I was JUST talking to my husband about this/ruminating on all of the expressions that mothers hear and how we sometimes need better, clearer, less hackneyed language to pass along to each other. You already know my feelings about just you wait and give yourself grace. I have so many feelings on so many of these expressions, I can hardly gather my thoughts! So thank you for so cleanly and thoughtfully summing up yours.
Aww we’re on the same wavelength today! Maybe you should write a follow up post with some of your thoughts on these, I always love hearing your perspective! The language of motherhood can be so silly 😆 thank you so much for reading, Tyece! ❤️ I hope you’re giving yourself some grace this week 😉❤️
Aw yes, the wheels are turning for a follow up post! xoxo (and lol yes, giving myself all of the grace this week)
“My most tragic parts of parenthood are the lasts I don’t know are lasts until they never happen again. And then they’re quickly greeted with a new first to make up for it.”
Oh, how I feel this. Thank you for sharing and I resonate so much with everything you’ve written. Just makes me realize how cool it is that motherhood allows women to experience so many of the same exact feelings 🫶🏻
That’s one of my favorite parts of motherhood too. We all belong to a sacred club that we only understand the inner workings of. Thank you so much for reading, Leah! ❤️
This is such a real reflection of something so many parents experience but don’t always say out loud.
There’s so much noise around parenting — so many phrases, so many expectations — and yet the most important parts are the quiet ones no one else sees.
So much of childhood comes down to timing.
Not being pushed.
Not being rushed.
Just being allowed to take it in and move forward when ready.
That’s where the growth happens.
This is so nicely put. You’re right, the unseen parts really are the whole thing, even though they get drowned out by all the noise. Thank you so much for reading! <3
Thank you for this — you said it so well.
The unseen parts really are the whole thing.
So much of what shapes a child’s experience happens in those quiet, in-between moments that don’t get named or noticed.
That’s where consistency lives. That’s where trust is built.
I loved reading this article. The idea that you’re supposed to enjoy every moment just isn’t honest and it can make mothers feel like they’re doing something wrong when they’re not.
What gives me pause is thinking about moms (including myself) who are/were struggling with their mental health, those hard moments don’t always fade. In fact, they can feel heavier, longer, and harder to carry. It puts a lot of pressure on mothers.
Thank you for pointing that out! I think that’s exactly where some of these phrases do the most harm. “Enjoy every moment” isn’t just unrealistic, it can feel isolating when your reality is heavy. For moms navigating their mental health, I imagine that low feeling can feel truly relentless.
This wasn't my reality luckily but I can empathize with the many friends I know who really struggled in postpartum. This piece is definitely more reflective of my own experience, but the "enjoy every moment" challenge could be a whole separate piece.
There shouldn’t be pressure to reframe those hard moments into something lighter or more meaningful before you’re ready (or at all).
Thank you so much for reading and for sharing your perspective. <3
You’re very welcome ☺️ thanks for a thoughtful response.